Border Guard Part 4 – the Spirit

This post is in response to a comment from Randy:

“In my officership, I have had exactly two soldiers, one a retired officer, one a friend from another corps, who challenged my own spiritual development, asked what I was studying, where I was spiritually, even asked about my temptations. These individuals, one in my life still, helped shape my spiritual discipline, and I will be eternally grateful.”

Even though I have talked previously about areas of discouragement and temptations for an officer, I feel like this topic deserves its own post.

In the very busy life of a pastor, taking time to grow spiritually can be a difficult discipline.  There is an old addage that says, “People don’t do what you expect; they do what you inspect.”  While that applies primarily to supervising employees, I think that this same principle can help us understand how helpful we can each be to our Captains.

Here are a few ideas I have about protecting the spiritual border:

1. Find a regular time.  It is important to get alone (and quiet) with the officer.  You probably understand that there are times during the week which can be absolutely crazy for a pastor.   If you avoid those times, there is a higher chance of openness and transparency.  Maybe decide to meet for a soda at a local restaurant once every other week or so.
2. Ask open-ended questions.  Instead of saying, “Did you have your prayer time this morning,” ask “What are some insights God is giving you during your time alone with Him?”  Some of the best questions require some temple-scratching time to arrive at an answer.  Don’t make it too easy by allowing a “yes” or “no” response.
3. Listen.  Give time for a thoughtful response.  Taking time to listen can be difficult, because silence can be uncomfortable.  Therefore, resist the urge to fill the silence yourself.  Maybe your discussion has stumbled upon a sensitive area.
4. Grow together.  Suggest some books to read together.  This will add a much-needed fellowship aspect to the time together, in addition to the accountability of keeping up with a reading schedule.
5. Keep confidences.  When you are a Border Guard for your officer’s spirit, the conversation will turn to delicate subjects and weaknesses.   Whatever you hear across the restaurant table and coffee cups needs to remain there.  Your officer will quickly conclude that you are a person to trust with disappointment and struggle, as well as joys and triumphs.  This trust should also be mutual – you can share with each other with the certainty that it stays between you.  If you feel like an issue is getting bigger than you can handle between you, suggest bringing a carefully chosen third party into the discussion, as long as you can agree on who that is.
6. Maintain a prayer journal.  Interruptions come which can make the time between meetings longer than anticipated.  If you committed to pray for an issue, keeping a journal will remind you to pray about it between meetings and will prompt you to ask about it at your next meeting.

I also have had soldiers who served me by being interested in my spiritual life.  Those relationships can transcend any appointment, and will give you life-long friends throughout the Army.

Border Guard Part 3 - The Heart

So you want to protect your Corps Officer?  You too can become a border guard for your pastor.  In this installment, we will take a look at a very important but sensitive area that needs to be watched closely - the heart.

While being a Corps Officer is sometimes the most exciting and fulfilling job, it can also be a very lonely position.  After all, there are times when the right decision must be made even though it is not popular.  At the same time, a captain is sometimes left with few people who really understand.  There are some situations that are confidential or sensitive and cannot be discussed with others.  Carrying that kind of load can leave a leader feeling very empty and discouraged.

Well, here are some steps can we as soldiers can take to guard the heart of our officers:

1. Watch your officer.  Sometimes, you can sense when an officer is going through a tough time.  A change in mood can be more than just a mood swing - there might be something deeper at stake.  Just being sensitive to how your officer is feeling can open the door to demonstrate your care for them.
   
2. Pay attention to key events.  There are certain times that can be make-or-break times as far as a Corps Officers' heart is concerned.  An advisory board or corps council meeting, or a meeting at DHQ can provide a lot of stress.  If you know that one of these stressers is coming, maybe it's time to say something encouraging.  I heard once that the most likely time for a preacher to resign is Monday morning.  This might be because Sundays can be very stressful.  Realizing this can help you to be a source of strength for your officer.
3. Send your officer a thank you note.  There are many times that an officer comes through for you or your family.  Don't overdo it.  But expressing genuine appreciation can make a big difference, maybe just at the time your officer needs it.  I have a file in my drawer marked "Keepsakes."  It is a place that I put notes that I have received through the years.  When times are tough, I open the file and review these letters, some of them from many years ago.  Some make me laugh out loud, while others make me feel humble at the way God has chosen to use me through the years.
4. Lighten it up.  We all need to laugh sometimes - officers included.  In one appointment, there were two soldiers who every once in a while took me out for breakfast.  It was a time when we just talked about our families and laughed and prayed for each other.  It meant the world to me that they just wanted to spend some time with me.  For an hour, I was forced to be away from the phone, email and the office, and I got a much-needed break.  I really appreciate those soldiers for their encouraging ministry to me.
   

Before you conclude from this post that Corps Officers are simply fragile creatures, just realize that they have a very stressful job, and sometimes need someone to stand in the gap for them - helping to guard their hearts.  Will you take up the challenge?