Border Guard Part 4 – the Spirit

This post is in response to a comment from Randy:

“In my officership, I have had exactly two soldiers, one a retired officer, one a friend from another corps, who challenged my own spiritual development, asked what I was studying, where I was spiritually, even asked about my temptations. These individuals, one in my life still, helped shape my spiritual discipline, and I will be eternally grateful.”

Even though I have talked previously about areas of discouragement and temptations for an officer, I feel like this topic deserves its own post.

In the very busy life of a pastor, taking time to grow spiritually can be a difficult discipline.  There is an old addage that says, “People don’t do what you expect; they do what you inspect.”  While that applies primarily to supervising employees, I think that this same principle can help us understand how helpful we can each be to our Captains.

Here are a few ideas I have about protecting the spiritual border:

1. Find a regular time.  It is important to get alone (and quiet) with the officer.  You probably understand that there are times during the week which can be absolutely crazy for a pastor.   If you avoid those times, there is a higher chance of openness and transparency.  Maybe decide to meet for a soda at a local restaurant once every other week or so.
2. Ask open-ended questions.  Instead of saying, “Did you have your prayer time this morning,” ask “What are some insights God is giving you during your time alone with Him?”  Some of the best questions require some temple-scratching time to arrive at an answer.  Don’t make it too easy by allowing a “yes” or “no” response.
3. Listen.  Give time for a thoughtful response.  Taking time to listen can be difficult, because silence can be uncomfortable.  Therefore, resist the urge to fill the silence yourself.  Maybe your discussion has stumbled upon a sensitive area.
4. Grow together.  Suggest some books to read together.  This will add a much-needed fellowship aspect to the time together, in addition to the accountability of keeping up with a reading schedule.
5. Keep confidences.  When you are a Border Guard for your officer’s spirit, the conversation will turn to delicate subjects and weaknesses.   Whatever you hear across the restaurant table and coffee cups needs to remain there.  Your officer will quickly conclude that you are a person to trust with disappointment and struggle, as well as joys and triumphs.  This trust should also be mutual – you can share with each other with the certainty that it stays between you.  If you feel like an issue is getting bigger than you can handle between you, suggest bringing a carefully chosen third party into the discussion, as long as you can agree on who that is.
6. Maintain a prayer journal.  Interruptions come which can make the time between meetings longer than anticipated.  If you committed to pray for an issue, keeping a journal will remind you to pray about it between meetings and will prompt you to ask about it at your next meeting.

I also have had soldiers who served me by being interested in my spiritual life.  Those relationships can transcend any appointment, and will give you life-long friends throughout the Army.