Six Warning Signs from Tiger Woods' Relationships

Tiger Woods held his press conference in Augusta, Georgia yesterday in anticipation of participating in the Masters Golf Tournament this week.  I took a closer look because I heard some hints at relationship breakdowns in his life that were related to his recent scandal.  I didn't look in order to condemn him, but in order to analyze what happened in order to identify any potential warning signs in my life.  I also determined that it was important as I lead others to encourage them to scrutinize their relationships and so avoid potential catastrophe.

Here are six areas of breakdowns in relationships that I believe either led to Tiger's downfall or were symptomatic of a deeper problem.

1. He led a secret life.  In other words, he behaved in a way that was different from how he presented himself to others.  Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with him having a separation between private and professional life.  But when there is a third area in which habitual sins are hidden, there is a lack of integrity.  Someone defined integrity as "You are who you say you are."  Another said, "Character is who you are in the dark."  In Genesis 16:13, Hagar said, "You are the God who sees me," which is true, whether we want to or not.  God sees us all, which means that nothing we do, say or think is completely secret.
2. He lied to himself.  I guess this means that he justified his behavior, or he convinced himself that he wouldn't get caught.  This is one of the first steps toward a life of destruction.
3. He lied to others.  My wife is my very best friend.  She knows all of me - the good, the bad and the ugly.  She knows me at my best and my worst.  If I start lying to her, everything breaks down in my most important earthly relationship.  John Maxwell once defined success as, "When those closest to me love and respect me the most."  One breakthrough for me was discovering that my family didn't expect me to be perfect.  They love me for who I am, and not who I am striving (or pretending) to be.  I also learned that I can trust them to help me through my struggles.  The want my honesty, but they also want the best for me.  So I have learned to trust them with guidance they give me, because I can trust their motives.  Unfortunately for Tiger, the trust his wife and children had in him for that very same support is gone.  To whom will they turn when they have questions or problems growing up? 
4. He failed to acknowledge his fans.  Obviously Tiger has talent.  He had incredible support from his father and others along the way.  However, without fans, there is no profession.  Unless a sport has spectators who are willing to pay to see it, companies that endorse it, and sponsors who hold tournaments, Tiger needs to find another job to support his family and pay the bills.  While some commended Tiger on his "focus" during play, I feel his distance from those who support him is indicative of a deeper arrogance, which leads to more serious problems.
5. He had negative outbursts.  While some believe that his intensity was a strength, I feel his lack of sportsmanship belied a deeper problem.  During yesterday's press conference, Tiger committed to toning down his negative outbursts, which he predicted would also diminish his positive ones.  While the sport world temporarily rewards those who perform well, the lifetime honors are given to those who were true sportsmen, like Ernie Banks or Walter Payton.
6. He failed to acknowledge the success of others.  He admitted to this yesterday, and he was pledging to make a more determined effort to encourage others on the course.  Paul says in Romans 12:15: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."  The biggest difficulty in the heart of a selfish man is understanding the feelings of others, especially if their experience is different from his own.

Believe me, I wish the best for Tiger, both professionally and personally.  Hopefully some healing can happen in his life; not only in his heart and mind, but also in his relationships with others.  While lots of damage has been done, I believe in the power of God to heal.

Let's pray for him, but in addition, let's heed the warning signs that led to Tiger's downfall.  Take a few moments for your own relationship inventory today.

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