Yes, I watched the final episode of The Bachelor last night.
Even though all of America knew who he was going to pick. Even though no one agreed with his choice of fiance.
There was part of me that bristled at Jake's choice of Vienna, but also there was part of me that celebrated it. After all, it is his choice, and who better than Jake to choose his own wife. If they ever get married.
Still, there were a couple of times during the "After the Final Rose" show right after the St. Lucia drama that puzzled me. Jake completely sidestepped a couple of questions, especially those asked by Tinley, the first "runner up" on the show.
One concern she had was how Vienna must feel about his proposal, knowing that just minutes ago, Jake dumped another girl who he admitted he was falling in love with. In fact, he stated that because of his contract, he held back things he wanted to say prior to the sponsor-ridden presentation of the ring.
And my confusion continues. It's not what I would want to happen to my daughters. I hope neither of them consider an appearance on this kind of show. It's totally artificial, but there's another problem with it.
There is a theme in the Bible called "mystery." It is not like a CSI crime drama where there is a fact that is hidden only because you don't have all the clues. This type of mystery is kind of like a fence. You understand what happens and why it happens that way on your side of the fence, but even though you can see the other side, it doesn't make sense. For Christ-followers, that fence represents our transition from death to life. From sin to righteousness. From a world separated from God to fellowship with Him.
And once we cross to the other side of the fence, looking back and understanding the old way of life is a mystery to us. It doesn't make sense.
Paul talks about this kind of mystery a couple of times, and my favorite couple of verses about mystery are Colossians 1:26-27:
Here are a few tips for those wrestling with mystery from the side of faith:"the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the saints. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory."
- Understand that things are different. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8) The kingdom of God doesn't look like what you see in the world, and that's OK. God has a different idea of what is important and valuable.
- Celebrate the change God has made in you. God in His grace brought you over from death to life. The change meant that the old life doesn't make sense to you any more. You have a new life to live - a better life, and that's OK. Jesus said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)
- Reach back, but don't look back. Yes, you left some friends on the other side of the fence. One role that I play with my "old" friends is to try to show them the love of God. So I reach back (and I need to do a better job of this). But I also left my old life there, with its habits, hurts and hangups. If I look back with nostalgia at the old days and the old life, I am at risk of slipping back into that old life.
- Realize that others don't understand either. Have compassion and patience on your friends who don't share your faith. For them, what you do and what is important to you looks as strange to them as what they do looks strange to you.
So maybe you were confused while watching Jake and Vienna last night. But remember, there is a deeper mystery to life than why Vienna and not Ali (yet another mystery) or Tinley.
Christ creates the mystery, and He also forged a way to understand the other side - the side of life.
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